The Grand Slam of Darts is a yearly reminder that chaos can be mathematical. It’s the only tournament where you need a calculator, a crystal ball, and probably Isaac Newton himself to work out who needs what to qualify.
If you doubt that, just ask Luke Humphries or Wessel Nijman. Last year, Cool Hand was winning everything that moved and still failed to make it out of his group. Nijman, meanwhile, averaged roughly two million per match and somehow lost the lot.
So, heading into this year’s bash in Wolverhampton, the moral was clear – complacency kills. With races to five in the round-robin format, there’s zero room for error.
Lose the first, and suddenly your arm feels heavier than your suitcase. As always, the draw threw up some absolute nightmares – proper groups of death that made Satan look like Santa.
Let’s take a stroll through the carnage…
Group A (Luke Humphries, Nathan Aspinall, Michael Smith, Alex Spellman)
The American debutant landed in a nightmare group that looked more Fast & Furious than friendly. Facing two World Champions and an in-form two-time major winner in Aspinall?
Good luck with that, mate. Bullyboy marked his first big-stage return in a while (at a time when Rylan Clark was on TV more than he was) and grabbed the vital opening win.
From there, Cool Hand cruised through, Asp missed doubles, and Spellman learned the hard way what elite company feels like.
Qualified: HUMPHRIES & SMITH
Group B (Chris Dobey, Damon Heta, Martin Lukeman, Jurjen van der Velde)
Hollywood was never in danger, and the young Dutchman nicked the other golden ticket. The Heat, expected to go through, fizzled out, while Lukeman’s campaign ended before his motor started. The Aussie had his chance but was unable to see of the World Youth Champ runner-up who took second spot.
Qualified: DOBEY & VAN DER VELDE
Group C (Stephen Bunting, Martin Schindler, Luke Woodhouse, Alexis Toylo)
Bunting’s exit was the first eyebrow-raiser. The former Masters champ lost his cool early, visibly irked by Toylo’s glacial pace (honestly, Coronation Street episodes move faster). By the time he’d found his rhythm, he was already packing. Schindler took the key win against Toylo, sparing fans from a best-of-19 marathon that might have outlasted the Super Bowl.
Qualified: WOODHOUSE & SCHINDLER
Group D (James Wade, Gerwyn Price, Ricky Evans, Stefan Bellmont)
This looked nailed on for Wadey and Gezzy… until it wasn’t. Opening night, and both got stunned – Rapid Ricky melted the Iceman, and the Swiss debutant outscored the Machine. Wade went home early, but Gezzy found his groove to hammer Bellmont and make it through alongside the rejuvenated and by self admission, the much ‘loved-up’ Evans.
Qualified: PRICE & EVANS
Group E (Luke Littler, Daryl Gurney, Connor Scutt, Karel Sedlacek)
Let’s be honest – this was Luke and a queue behind him. The teenager bulldozed everyone again, making it look like a casual practice night. Behind him, Scutt held his nerve to nick second place at the Czech’s expense in their shoot-out. Gurney? Not his week unortunately but he will bounce back.
Qualified: LITTLER & SCUTT
Group F (Gian van Veen, Josh Rock, Wessel Nijman, Lisa Ashton)
Van Veen started like a rocket with two wins, but Rock and Nijman brought him crashing down to Earth and ended up shoving him out of the qualiying positions. Lisa bowed out early but did herself proud. In the end, after Wessel whitewashed the Lancashire Rose, it left Rocky and Van Veen to battle it out which the Northern Ireland World Champ came out on top in.
Qualified: ROCK & NIJMAN
Group G (Michael van Gerwen, Gary Anderson, Niko Springer, Beau Greaves)
This one had danger written all over it. Two multiple World Champs, a young phenom, and a woman who’s dominated the Lakeside – that’s not a group, that’s a minefield. Springer stole the spotlight early and sealed his advancement after just two outings. Beau earned a standing ovation for pushing both legends to the brink with a couple of mangificent displays before claiming a deserved win in her final match over the German. MVG then smashed Ando to top the group in their shoot-out and hand the Scot his first-ever early Grand Slam exit.
Qualified: VAN GERWEN & SPRINGER
Group H (Jonny Clayton, Danny Noppert, Lukas Wenig, Cam Crabtree)
A wild one. Crabtree opened by thrashing The Ferret 5-1, leaving the Welshman playing catch-up he never managed. Wenig then finished the job, beating Clayton and later dismantling Crabtree to storm through. Noppie quietly handled business to qualify with him.
Qualified: WENIG & NOPPERT
And there we are – sixteen survivors, plenty of bruised egos, and Newton’s calculator finally allowed to rest. Tonight, the last-16 begins with races to ten – a bit more breathing space, but you still don’t want to start off like a tortoise.
Wednesday (1900 GMT)
Second Round
Luke Woodhouse v Ricky Evans
Gerwyn Price v Martin Schindler
Luke Humphries v Jurjen van der Velde
Chris Dobey v Michael Smith
Thursday
(1900 GMT)
Second Round
Lukas Wenig v Niko Springer
Josh Rock v Connor Scutt
Luke Littler v Wessel Nijman
Michael van Gerwen v Danny Noppert
—–Ends—–
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